Okay it’s been a time sine I have updated any of my blogs. It’s been really very truly busy. First it was Samhain, then November came with Zoe’s second birthday, then her party, and Turkey Day, then it was Rob’s birthday on Dec. 12th and his party on the 14th and here we are on the day before Longest Night. Much crafting and etsy buying (handmade pledge again this year.) and we’ve together decided that since we are in fact Pagan, it is not Christmas we are celebrating, It is Solstice (which has always been celebrated in our household.) The spark has come because Rob and I have been under attack lately. Seriously. People on all fronts telling us that we are terrible people, going to hell, and pretty much affronting our lifestyle. I really care not what people think, but what has sparked is that I no longer feel the need to pussy foot around issues. I no longer feel the need to make things easier for others when they won’t grant our family that concession.
Firstly in my family, there is my adultering, bastard child parenting (I say these things to give you some idea as to his BLATANT self righteousness), self loathing, abusive, younger brother. He likes to try to tell me that my beliefs are fake and that I know not what I beleive and how can I have the baby jesus on my table top when I dont even believe in him. No, I don’t believe that Jesus is the savior of mankind. In fact, I believe that he is just like any other sun deity that is glorified this time of year. That I have a baby Jesus (not yet in the nativity as it is not yet Solstice) on my table top is significant of those sun gods, that they are all honored this time of year. I can’t exactly find a Mithra scene or a birth of Horus scene, now can I?
Since that is an ongoing battle of disrespect (apparently I am going straight to hell and taking my children with me) I had decided at card giving time to not paint things so Christian like….instead I stayed straight and true. I sent Solstice greetings.
Next comes Rob’s family. With them, well all but his mother, the attacks are very subtle so as not to appear ignorant, ill-willed or mean spirited. His mother just goes for the throat, which is fine, because I have learned that I can say what I want back to her and she runs away with her tail between her legs for a short time before reverting back again.
Right now-and every year since Zoe’s birth-the issue comes up regarding a social security number. We have elected-as our child is not a tax payer-to not get a SSN for her. The issue comes up because there is money that is desired to be invested-BUT HOW MY FATHER IN LAW WANTS IT TO BE INVESTED. If we do not succumb, go against our principles of how we raise our children and view the world we live in….well you get the picture. He said to me, “better start saving your egg money in a coffee can in the chicken coop….” which is not only an affront to us in terms of how we live, but is also an affront that we might not manage things properly for our children in gifts they may be given. Okay, Can I be the parent for awhile?
So there is the jist. There is more to it, of course, but not that I am going to write all about as it isn’t over yet-by far. And it’s silly. We have made aware to all of our family that we do not live our lives according to the ways of the dollar. We live it according to the ways of harmony and balance. I hope beyond hope-no I am certain-that the world is not going to be operating in this terrible way by the time my daughters are grown. They all only see dollar bills.

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December 20, 2007 at 11:34 pm
seattlegraphix
Hooo.. what you said hit close to home for me. I am pagan, and constantly take the heat for it. Heck i’ve almost given up in that regards, we celebrate “the holidays” now so that people will just lay off. You’d think as you get older and more grown up that your family would allow you actually be and act like the grown up you are.. but no. That’s how it is in my family too… hang in there! I’m sure people will grow a clue eventually!
December 22, 2007 at 1:07 am
Rixa
Hey, I am sorry for the hassles you’ve been getting. You know, even with things that maybe are a bit hard for me, personally, to understand (not having a SSN for your kids, for example), I am sure that it’s something you’ve thought about a lot. If I were a family member, I might ask you more why you decided to do that (not hostilely, but truly wanting to know why) and after that, figure that it’s your family and you are doing the best for your children. Perhaps we’d have a good conversation about each of our reasons for either getting or not getting SSNs and I’d share the reasons why I got one for my daughter (so she can travel outside the country, go to university, have a job, etc) and you’d share your reasons with me.
And the religion thing…again, I really respect anyone who has deeply held beliefs whatever they are. I am a very devout Christian (Mormon aka Latter-Day-Saint, although a lot of other Christians would accuse me of being a devil worshipper or cult member or whatever LOL) but I don’t look down on other religious systems as being inferior or “wrong.” Anyway, hang in there! Enjoy your own winter celebrations and let everything else go…
December 22, 2007 at 3:13 am
Womon in the Woods
Thanks for your comments. both of you. The thing is we HAVE explained things when asked but then gotten the response that we are “Crackpots”- The very same response we get for everything; homebirthing, UCing, no vaxxing, vegetarianism etc…..it’s always the very same reaction and its getting old.
Yule is about letting go and that is what Rob and I have decided on. Not making apologies anymore and just letting go of it all…
December 22, 2007 at 3:30 am
Kelley
I can understand some of your frustration. My in-laws have absolutely no idea what to think about me (like I care), and my parents sometimes feel the need to tell me I’m looney. Whatever. And I agree… it does get old.
Good luck.
January 13, 2008 at 2:14 am
meta
Wow- we are in a similar boat. I am pregnant with my first baby and live in Ontario, Canada, which is pretty conservative (despite what people claim) and blank faced about pagan/natural ways of life… much sympathy to you. So glad the solstice is being celebrated by strong women like you. Funny how people don’t understand symbols. anyway, many kudos.