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Okay it’s been a time sine I have updated any of my blogs. It’s been really very truly busy. First it was Samhain, then November came with Zoe’s second birthday, then her party, and Turkey Day, then it was Rob’s birthday on Dec. 12th and his party on the 14th and here we are on the day before Longest Night. Much crafting and etsy buying (handmade pledge again this year.) and we’ve together decided that since we are in fact Pagan, it is not Christmas we are celebrating, It is Solstice (which has always been celebrated in our household.) The spark has come because Rob and I have been under attack lately. Seriously. People on all fronts telling us that we are terrible people, going to hell, and pretty much affronting our lifestyle. I really care not what people think, but what has sparked is that I no longer feel the need to pussy foot around issues. I no longer feel the need to make things easier for others when they won’t grant our family that concession.

Firstly in my family, there is my adultering, bastard child parenting (I say these things to give you some idea as to his BLATANT self righteousness), self loathing, abusive, younger brother. He likes to try to tell me that my beliefs are fake and that I know not what I beleive and how can I have the baby jesus on my table top when I dont even believe in him. No, I don’t believe that Jesus is the savior of mankind. In fact, I believe that he is just like any other sun deity that is glorified this time of year. That I have a baby Jesus (not yet in the nativity as it is not yet Solstice) on my table top is significant of those sun gods, that they are all honored this time of year. I can’t exactly find a Mithra scene or a birth of Horus scene, now can I?

Since that is an ongoing battle of disrespect (apparently I am going straight to hell and taking my children with me) I had decided at card giving time to not paint things so Christian like….instead I stayed straight and true. I sent Solstice greetings.

Next comes Rob’s family. With them, well all but his mother, the attacks are very subtle so as not to appear ignorant, ill-willed or mean spirited. His mother just goes for the throat, which is fine, because I have learned that I can say what I want back to her and she runs away with her tail between her legs for a short time before reverting back again.

Right now-and every year since Zoe’s birth-the issue comes up regarding a social security number. We have elected-as our child is not a tax payer-to not get a SSN for her. The issue comes up because there is money that is desired to be invested-BUT HOW MY FATHER IN LAW WANTS IT TO BE INVESTED. If we do not succumb, go against our principles of how we raise our children and view the world we live in….well you get the picture. He said to me, “better start saving your egg money in a coffee can in the chicken coop….” which is not only an affront to us in terms of how we live, but is also an affront that we might not manage things properly for our children in gifts they may be given. Okay, Can I be the parent for awhile?

So there is the jist. There is more to it, of course, but not that I am going to write all about as it isn’t over yet-by far. And it’s silly. We have made aware to all of our family that we do not live our lives according to the ways of the dollar. We live it according to the ways of harmony and balance. I hope beyond hope-no I am certain-that the world is not going to be operating in this terrible way by the time my daughters are grown. They all only see dollar bills.

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Hi. It’s been a time, but it’s been a time for healing and planning and preparing. We have let a couple of cycles pass since we lost Rune and are planning to try again in the coming cycle! Huzzah!

I am making this super fast because it is almost time to get things ready for din din time..

After forwarding the article in the Washington Post to the editor of our local paper, Kelly Virden, I was interviewed, along with two other local homebirthers-both friends of mine-for our local paper. Here is the article.

I am happy with it, though I am a tad disappointed that nothing regarding world statistics regarding birth were mentioned, nothing regarding the safety stats of home vs hospital, nothing to the tune of information, only our stories. Don’t get me wrong, I really think that our three stories are crucial to changing mindsets, to helping wimmin realize their innate abilities, but the fact checker in me would have liked to see more to the whys of it instead of just the stories. One thing in my bit of the article that was actually in err, was that I sought prenatal care. I did but only through 20 weeks thereabout, when I was tired of the condescension of the local MDs. I am interested to see what kind of support and backlash we three get over this article.

Let me know what you think of it.

This one was taken by Brittany…the mom who helped me organize. I will have my photos up later. Thi sisthe only one of me though ๐Ÿ™‚

I posted comments regarding this thread and this thread over at Feministing. Interesting.

Also, Hathor has a new strip out about feeding our children naturally and in public. She also posted a comment on the Feministing post about the Nurse-Ins

More later…it was a success though!! YAY!

ETA: WOW my jeans are getting to be too big! I am enjoying that!

This weekend there is a nationwide protest of Applebees restaurants. It was sparked by a woman’s mistreatment by a Kentucky store. As these things do, it because a wildfire of outrage, especially after the company never issued an apology for breaking the law and violating the woman and her babe’s civil human rights. They wrote a letter stating they would work to start providing blankets for women to cover up with. Not all babies like to be covered and not all women like it either. it isn’t about being discreet, as most breastfeeding women are not the types to just “whip it out” and “let it hang out”. (I have a severe dislike for those phrasings. UGH!)

I am organizing a nurse in locally at the Baxter, MN Applebees on Dellwood Drive. Thankfully we have the support and backing of not only the police department there, but APPLENEES THEMSELVES! The manager is more than happy that we are going to be there as he is and their store is, Breastfeeding Friendly.

If you are around on Saturday about 2pm, stop by and say hi, and show your support for a baby’s right to eat without being discriminated against.

I have contacted various media outlets, perhaps some will show up, perhaps not. We are, thus far, the only organized demonstration in Minnesota. I expect a great turn out as I have gotten a few phone calls from supporters and people eager to show their support at the event.

Minnesota has a great law, but it could be better.

Minn. Stat. ยง 145.905 a mother may breastfeed in any location, public or private, where the mother and child are otherwise authroized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding.

How it could be better is this: We could have a provision stating how a family can go about seeking damages of ‘x’ amount or criminal prosecution for breaking this law can be added. There are already a number of states that have such provisions.

For more info on what you can do go here.

My breasts are fuller than normal. There is extra milk and Zoe is drowning when she latches on. I cry when she latches on-not because it hurts, because, let’s face it, I am a nursing pro by now; but because there is no extra babe to take in the milk meant to feed him.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is it for now. I am turning the computer off for a few days.

YAAAY! Finally people are realizing that co-sleeping is normal, natural and necessary!!

The Harvard University Gazette featured this article a number of years ago…well, about 10 years ag, in fact.

“Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently,” Commons said. “It changes the nervous system so they’re overly sensitive to future trauma.”

“The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.

“We’ve stressed independence so much that it’s having some very negative side effects,” Miller said.”

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YOU DON’T SAY!?!? My Auntie (the meanest auntie in the whole wide world ๐Ÿ˜‰ )ย  and my cousin, who is a few months younger than I am and has a small son (I think he is three) were here a couple of months ago for a short visit. We co-sleep to the extent that if we are not in bed, neither is Zoe. She might be in one of our laps onthe couch while we read, or watch a little tube, or listen to the radio, or if we are up doing something after the girls go to sleep, Zoe will lay on the couch or our super huge ottoman (it’s HUGE, so co-sleepers, worry not!) My cousin, asking very caringly, “won’t sleeping like that make her dependent? ” In a word I answered her “nope.” I went on further to let her know a bit about our parenting philosophy, that it is INTERDEPENDENCE we are attempting to achieve, not independence. While we do not molly coddle our girls, we don’t dismiss them, either and we attend to their emotional needs when they need it and then some. My kids are so damned independent at times it isn’t even funny, but they have a balance, already at their young ages. Tehy know what their personal boundaries are and when they need to run to mom or dad.

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“Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents’ room and doctors’ concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation’s growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.

The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn’t like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.

“I think there’s a real resistance in this culture to caring for children,” Commons said. But “punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people.”

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I am of a firm and completely convinced opinion that the disconnect we have anymore among people is because people cater to their children, but do not care for their children. Parents are so concerned with giving everything to their kids, that they forget the one thing the kids NEED, their parents.

As for sex, Rob and I have an amazing sex life, not to brag too much. He shared with me a conversation he had with his boss the other day (keep in mind, these men are mechanics…foul foul men when with one another! LOL)

BOSS: what you doing when you get home?

ROB: More work. My working never ends. (it really doesn’t! the man is a freakin’ workhorse)

BOSS: What are you talking about? Your job is done, Tasha is pregnant.

ROB: Are you kidding me? Now is when the real work begins. Now I have to deal with the insatiable lust.

BOSS: You poor, poor man.

ROB: Yeah, it’s rough.

Believe you me, our bed is not the only place that is fun for love making! We are creative and inventive and sometimes just plain crazy! Sex is never an issue.

Rolling over onto the babe, well, considering I never drink more than a drink when I drink alcohol, I am never going to bed with the babe while intoxicated. Rob sleeps on the sofa when he has been drinking. Both of us are light sleepers and VERY aware that our child lies between us. there is no rolling over the baby. Period.

Regarding the last bit that I quoted, I completely agree. We are so out of touch with children. They are, more than any other generation, in my opinion, to be seen (with all of their stuff that mom and dad got for them) and not heard (who could hear them anyhow with earbuds in all the time?)ย  then we stick them into daycare centers until 5 and 6 o’clock at night, bring them home, throw some groceries (read: fast food) down their throats, bathe them and put them to bed in front of dvds or tv.ย  We wake them in the morning, according to OUR schedule, and tote them off into the adult world to do it all over again (I didn’t factor in the over committing, soccer, dance, swim, scouts, etc. of children.) Way to go, America! Now that is what I call stellar parenting!

I think I will end this mini-rant by saying that I am not sorry for anything I have written or will write about my opinion ont he state of parenting in our Western culture. I think that collectively, it eats. It eats hard and rotten. Unless parents wake up and realize that THEY are the most important thing they can give their children, then society as we know it will continue to decline and we will become evermore disconnected until we don’t talk at all. We don’t touch at all. We don’t cry or laugh or yell at all.

My children will not be a part of that. They will not be emotionless robots catering to societies demands.

Now, go hug and kiss and snuggle your babes to sleep. In your bed.

I like the song in this radio show “So much better when you don’t wait for the ‘experts’ to come…” (quotation mine)

There is a spot about UC as well and the midwife talking about it seems very supportive of it as a womon’s choice. I was pleased with this show.

The midwife also discussed the film “Psalm and Zoya” which is the documentation of Mindy Gorchenko‘s birth of her twins, the first of which vertex and the second was a footling breech. Both babies were born unassisted and peacefully while her husband filmed their arrival.

I own that film and I have to say I love it. It is hilarious at times, and always intense. I have it loaned out to a friend right now who is wanting a UC for her next birth. She has three babies, the last two were born with midwives at a birth center that is 2 hours away. She doesn’t want to go through that again, as she almost didn’t make it with the most recent baby. She and her husband are both highly self aware and very educated people as well and have no qualms other than the mess (which, really, there is not as much mess with birth as people tend to think.)

Dayna Martin can also be found here, here and here.