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My breasts are fuller than normal. There is extra milk and Zoe is drowning when she latches on. I cry when she latches on-not because it hurts, because, let’s face it, I am a nursing pro by now; but because there is no extra babe to take in the milk meant to feed him.

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Thank you everyone, for your blessings and well wishes. It’s been an incredibly difficult few days.

We had a burial last night in our Sacred Place. We named the baby Rune Dustin and I will have a complete story at some point, when I can see well enough to write. It helps me to write. it always has. Rob and I are both suffering terribly as this babe was so wanted and planned for. We have given him up to the Goddess, though and she will mother him while I can’t.

Here is a photo of our altar from last night. We all definitely felt the generations with us while we mourned and buried our sweet babe.

Rune is in the sugar jar. It’s pretty old one I found with an incomplete set from Japan. Rob is chiseling a stone with his name on it as a marker.

Thanks again for all of your blessings, here, via email, telephone calls from those who know us in real life and the few of you across the internet. They mean a lot more than you can know.

This is it for now. I am turning the computer off for a few days.

I will be away for a few days.

Thanks for your love and support. I will give you details when I feel I can. Every baby has a birth story and this one does too.

I am going to toolize the only General Practicioner that I respect in our community for her doppler today because-for the first time in a pregnancy-I was spotting and it made me lose my mind. She didn’t use the doppler. Instead she used the speculum to just look at my cervix which was closed with no blood around it! YAY!

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I am terrified. I have a little peace if I do miscarry, because I dreamed it shortly after Zoe was born that I got pg, birthed a dead babe and then got pg and birthed a healthy live one. Despite the preparation, I am still freaked out completely and lost it a few times last night. Should worse come to worse, I will labor this loss and have it at home, just as we would a healthy babe.

I have heard that third pregnancies are the wacky ones, so who knows, maybe this is just that, as I don’t have any other symptoms of loss. (this is something she mentioned as well!)

I will keep you updated, but I just wanted to ask that you send some positive energies this way and envision this babe held on tight in my uterus and staying healthy and safe. (thus far we are confident that Sprout is fine. before checking my cervix, blood was drawn and they will test hormone levels just to be on the safe side. Dr. Malling is confident, though, with my cervix closed, that all is fine and it was probably some extra implantation blood. Baby is holding on tight!)

Thanks.

YAAAY! Finally people are realizing that co-sleeping is normal, natural and necessary!!

The Harvard University Gazette featured this article a number of years ago…well, about 10 years ag, in fact.

“Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently,” Commons said. “It changes the nervous system so they’re overly sensitive to future trauma.”

“The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.

“We’ve stressed independence so much that it’s having some very negative side effects,” Miller said.”

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YOU DON’T SAY!?!? My Auntie (the meanest auntie in the whole wide world 😉 )  and my cousin, who is a few months younger than I am and has a small son (I think he is three) were here a couple of months ago for a short visit. We co-sleep to the extent that if we are not in bed, neither is Zoe. She might be in one of our laps onthe couch while we read, or watch a little tube, or listen to the radio, or if we are up doing something after the girls go to sleep, Zoe will lay on the couch or our super huge ottoman (it’s HUGE, so co-sleepers, worry not!) My cousin, asking very caringly, “won’t sleeping like that make her dependent? ” In a word I answered her “nope.” I went on further to let her know a bit about our parenting philosophy, that it is INTERDEPENDENCE we are attempting to achieve, not independence. While we do not molly coddle our girls, we don’t dismiss them, either and we attend to their emotional needs when they need it and then some. My kids are so damned independent at times it isn’t even funny, but they have a balance, already at their young ages. Tehy know what their personal boundaries are and when they need to run to mom or dad.

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“Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents’ room and doctors’ concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation’s growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.

The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn’t like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.

“I think there’s a real resistance in this culture to caring for children,” Commons said. But “punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people.”

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I am of a firm and completely convinced opinion that the disconnect we have anymore among people is because people cater to their children, but do not care for their children. Parents are so concerned with giving everything to their kids, that they forget the one thing the kids NEED, their parents.

As for sex, Rob and I have an amazing sex life, not to brag too much. He shared with me a conversation he had with his boss the other day (keep in mind, these men are mechanics…foul foul men when with one another! LOL)

BOSS: what you doing when you get home?

ROB: More work. My working never ends. (it really doesn’t! the man is a freakin’ workhorse)

BOSS: What are you talking about? Your job is done, Tasha is pregnant.

ROB: Are you kidding me? Now is when the real work begins. Now I have to deal with the insatiable lust.

BOSS: You poor, poor man.

ROB: Yeah, it’s rough.

Believe you me, our bed is not the only place that is fun for love making! We are creative and inventive and sometimes just plain crazy! Sex is never an issue.

Rolling over onto the babe, well, considering I never drink more than a drink when I drink alcohol, I am never going to bed with the babe while intoxicated. Rob sleeps on the sofa when he has been drinking. Both of us are light sleepers and VERY aware that our child lies between us. there is no rolling over the baby. Period.

Regarding the last bit that I quoted, I completely agree. We are so out of touch with children. They are, more than any other generation, in my opinion, to be seen (with all of their stuff that mom and dad got for them) and not heard (who could hear them anyhow with earbuds in all the time?)  then we stick them into daycare centers until 5 and 6 o’clock at night, bring them home, throw some groceries (read: fast food) down their throats, bathe them and put them to bed in front of dvds or tv.  We wake them in the morning, according to OUR schedule, and tote them off into the adult world to do it all over again (I didn’t factor in the over committing, soccer, dance, swim, scouts, etc. of children.) Way to go, America! Now that is what I call stellar parenting!

I think I will end this mini-rant by saying that I am not sorry for anything I have written or will write about my opinion ont he state of parenting in our Western culture. I think that collectively, it eats. It eats hard and rotten. Unless parents wake up and realize that THEY are the most important thing they can give their children, then society as we know it will continue to decline and we will become evermore disconnected until we don’t talk at all. We don’t touch at all. We don’t cry or laugh or yell at all.

My children will not be a part of that. They will not be emotionless robots catering to societies demands.

Now, go hug and kiss and snuggle your babes to sleep. In your bed.

From the BBC News

We didn’t even clamp Zoe’s cord at all. We didn’t cut her from her placenta until about 2 hours afterward and then an hour after that I birthed the placenta. After she as cut from her placenta we just left her dangle. Everything we read gave us no real reason to clamp it off at all. After three days she had her first bath and then e kept it clean with witch hazel.

I got this on a list I am on. It is from Compleat Mother. I give you….

The Obstetrician Song

Enjoy!

Women Use Belly Dancing, Other Techniques During Childbirth, Wall
Street Journal Reports
09 Aug 2007

Some women who are “disillusioned with routine use of drugs and
medical interventions during labor” are practicing belly dancing and other
“alternative techniques,” such as hypnotherapy and “water births,” during
childbirth, the Wall Street Journal reports. According to anthropologist Sheila
Kitzinger, belly dancing originated as a childbirth ritual. An increasing
variety of belly-dancing classes and other educational materials are available
for pregnant women, and the first instructional DVD on prenatal belly dancing in
the U.S. was released last year, the Journal reports.

According to the Journal, pregnant women might find comfort in belly
dancing by slowly using hip circles, crescents and figure eights during early
labor. The dance movements might progress to include a “rocking of the pelvis
from side to side” to help position the fetus correctly and “relax the pelvic
floor” as labor becomes more intense, the Journal reports. During the final,
pushing phase of labor, full body undulations can help move the fetus into the
birth canal.

Cathy Moore, a midwife at Brigham and Women’s Hospital who is
involved with a belly-dancing group, has been introducing belly dancing to
pregnant women and birth specialists. Moore said she had to “tread carefully”
when introducing the techniques, as some women and physicians have not accepted
the practice because it “remains outside the medical mainstream.” James
Greenberg, chair of obstetrics at Brigham and Women’s, said that although the
proven benefits of belly dancing as a childbirth aid are unclear, there is
“certainly no scientific reason to think it’s bad.” Greenberg added that “if it
makes [pregnant women] feel good, and it’s safe — do it” (Zimmerman, Wall
Street Journal, 8/4).

Reprinted with kind permission from http://www.kaisernetwork.org.
You can view the entire Kaiser Daily Health Policy Report, search the archives,
or sign up for email delivery at
http://www.kaisernetwork.org/dailyreports/healthpolicy. The Kaiser Daily Health
Policy Report is published for kaisernetwork.org, a free service of The Henry J.
Kaiser Family Foundation. � 2005 Advisory Board Company and Kaiser Family
Foundation. All rights reserved.
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Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/79039.php

Main News Category: Pregnancy / Obstetrics

Also Appears In: Women’s Health / Gynecology,

I love Yoga. I swear by it for physical and spiritual wellness. During pregnancy it is so beneficial in helping you to become MORE in tuned with your body and it’s changing form as well as your growing baby. keep in mind, just like anything else, if you haven’t been doing Yoga prior to becoming pregnant, you should seek the help and guidance of a Yogini or Yogi.

If you cannot afford to purchase tapes to do prenatal Yoga, there are a lot of resources on the very handy YouTube as well at your local library.

If you have been practicing Yoga already and haven’t really thought about continuing through your pregnancy, I really suggest that you do. It is even something that will help you to get back into shape after sweet babe comes. You can do Yoga with the baby too! It’s a good start to lifelong wellness. Just ask my 5 year old who loves Yoga and has her whole life!