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Okay it’s been a time sine I have updated any of my blogs. It’s been really very truly busy. First it was Samhain, then November came with Zoe’s second birthday, then her party, and Turkey Day, then it was Rob’s birthday on Dec. 12th and his party on the 14th and here we are on the day before Longest Night. Much crafting and etsy buying (handmade pledge again this year.) and we’ve together decided that since we are in fact Pagan, it is not Christmas we are celebrating, It is Solstice (which has always been celebrated in our household.) The spark has come because Rob and I have been under attack lately. Seriously. People on all fronts telling us that we are terrible people, going to hell, and pretty much affronting our lifestyle. I really care not what people think, but what has sparked is that I no longer feel the need to pussy foot around issues. I no longer feel the need to make things easier for others when they won’t grant our family that concession.

Firstly in my family, there is my adultering, bastard child parenting (I say these things to give you some idea as to his BLATANT self righteousness), self loathing, abusive, younger brother. He likes to try to tell me that my beliefs are fake and that I know not what I beleive and how can I have the baby jesus on my table top when I dont even believe in him. No, I don’t believe that Jesus is the savior of mankind. In fact, I believe that he is just like any other sun deity that is glorified this time of year. That I have a baby Jesus (not yet in the nativity as it is not yet Solstice) on my table top is significant of those sun gods, that they are all honored this time of year. I can’t exactly find a Mithra scene or a birth of Horus scene, now can I?

Since that is an ongoing battle of disrespect (apparently I am going straight to hell and taking my children with me) I had decided at card giving time to not paint things so Christian like….instead I stayed straight and true. I sent Solstice greetings.

Next comes Rob’s family. With them, well all but his mother, the attacks are very subtle so as not to appear ignorant, ill-willed or mean spirited. His mother just goes for the throat, which is fine, because I have learned that I can say what I want back to her and she runs away with her tail between her legs for a short time before reverting back again.

Right now-and every year since Zoe’s birth-the issue comes up regarding a social security number. We have elected-as our child is not a tax payer-to not get a SSN for her. The issue comes up because there is money that is desired to be invested-BUT HOW MY FATHER IN LAW WANTS IT TO BE INVESTED. If we do not succumb, go against our principles of how we raise our children and view the world we live in….well you get the picture. He said to me, “better start saving your egg money in a coffee can in the chicken coop….” which is not only an affront to us in terms of how we live, but is also an affront that we might not manage things properly for our children in gifts they may be given. Okay, Can I be the parent for awhile?

So there is the jist. There is more to it, of course, but not that I am going to write all about as it isn’t over yet-by far. And it’s silly. We have made aware to all of our family that we do not live our lives according to the ways of the dollar. We live it according to the ways of harmony and balance. I hope beyond hope-no I am certain-that the world is not going to be operating in this terrible way by the time my daughters are grown. They all only see dollar bills.

Hi. It’s been a time, but it’s been a time for healing and planning and preparing. We have let a couple of cycles pass since we lost Rune and are planning to try again in the coming cycle! Huzzah!

I am making this super fast because it is almost time to get things ready for din din time..

After forwarding the article in the Washington Post to the editor of our local paper, Kelly Virden, I was interviewed, along with two other local homebirthers-both friends of mine-for our local paper. Here is the article.

I am happy with it, though I am a tad disappointed that nothing regarding world statistics regarding birth were mentioned, nothing regarding the safety stats of home vs hospital, nothing to the tune of information, only our stories. Don’t get me wrong, I really think that our three stories are crucial to changing mindsets, to helping wimmin realize their innate abilities, but the fact checker in me would have liked to see more to the whys of it instead of just the stories. One thing in my bit of the article that was actually in err, was that I sought prenatal care. I did but only through 20 weeks thereabout, when I was tired of the condescension of the local MDs. I am interested to see what kind of support and backlash we three get over this article.

Let me know what you think of it.

This one was taken by Brittany…the mom who helped me organize. I will have my photos up later. Thi sisthe only one of me though ๐Ÿ™‚

I posted comments regarding this thread and this thread over at Feministing. Interesting.

Also, Hathor has a new strip out about feeding our children naturally and in public. She also posted a comment on the Feministing post about the Nurse-Ins

More later…it was a success though!! YAY!

ETA: WOW my jeans are getting to be too big! I am enjoying that!

This weekend there is a nationwide protest of Applebees restaurants. It was sparked by a woman’s mistreatment by a Kentucky store. As these things do, it because a wildfire of outrage, especially after the company never issued an apology for breaking the law and violating the woman and her babe’s civil human rights. They wrote a letter stating they would work to start providing blankets for women to cover up with. Not all babies like to be covered and not all women like it either. it isn’t about being discreet, as most breastfeeding women are not the types to just “whip it out” and “let it hang out”. (I have a severe dislike for those phrasings. UGH!)

I am organizing a nurse in locally at the Baxter, MN Applebees on Dellwood Drive. Thankfully we have the support and backing of not only the police department there, but APPLENEES THEMSELVES! The manager is more than happy that we are going to be there as he is and their store is, Breastfeeding Friendly.

If you are around on Saturday about 2pm, stop by and say hi, and show your support for a baby’s right to eat without being discriminated against.

I have contacted various media outlets, perhaps some will show up, perhaps not. We are, thus far, the only organized demonstration in Minnesota. I expect a great turn out as I have gotten a few phone calls from supporters and people eager to show their support at the event.

Minnesota has a great law, but it could be better.

Minn. Stat. ยง 145.905 a mother may breastfeed in any location, public or private, where the mother and child are otherwise authroized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding.

How it could be better is this: We could have a provision stating how a family can go about seeking damages of ‘x’ amount or criminal prosecution for breaking this law can be added. There are already a number of states that have such provisions.

For more info on what you can do go here.

My breasts are fuller than normal. There is extra milk and Zoe is drowning when she latches on. I cry when she latches on-not because it hurts, because, let’s face it, I am a nursing pro by now; but because there is no extra babe to take in the milk meant to feed him.

Read the rest of this entry »

Thank you everyone, for your blessings and well wishes. It’s been an incredibly difficult few days.

We had a burial last night in our Sacred Place. We named the baby Rune Dustin and I will have a complete story at some point, when I can see well enough to write. It helps me to write. it always has. Rob and I are both suffering terribly as this babe was so wanted and planned for. We have given him up to the Goddess, though and she will mother him while I can’t.

Here is a photo of our altar from last night. We all definitely felt the generations with us while we mourned and buried our sweet babe.

Rune is in the sugar jar. It’s pretty old one I found with an incomplete set from Japan. Rob is chiseling a stone with his name on it as a marker.

Thanks again for all of your blessings, here, via email, telephone calls from those who know us in real life and the few of you across the internet. They mean a lot more than you can know.

This is it for now. I am turning the computer off for a few days.

I will be away for a few days.

Thanks for your love and support. I will give you details when I feel I can. Every baby has a birth story and this one does too.

I am going to toolize the only General Practicioner that I respect in our community for her doppler today because-for the first time in a pregnancy-I was spotting and it made me lose my mind. She didn’t use the doppler. Instead she used the speculum to just look at my cervix which was closed with no blood around it! YAY!

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I am terrified. I have a little peace if I do miscarry, because I dreamed it shortly after Zoe was born that I got pg, birthed a dead babe and then got pg and birthed a healthy live one. Despite the preparation, I am still freaked out completely and lost it a few times last night. Should worse come to worse, I will labor this loss and have it at home, just as we would a healthy babe.

I have heard that third pregnancies are the wacky ones, so who knows, maybe this is just that, as I don’t have any other symptoms of loss. (this is something she mentioned as well!)

I will keep you updated, but I just wanted to ask that you send some positive energies this way and envision this babe held on tight in my uterus and staying healthy and safe. (thus far we are confident that Sprout is fine. before checking my cervix, blood was drawn and they will test hormone levels just to be on the safe side. Dr. Malling is confident, though, with my cervix closed, that all is fine and it was probably some extra implantation blood. Baby is holding on tight!)